3 Ways Relationship Therapy Helps Couples Thrive

Who is Relationship Therapy For?

There is some misguided information out there that couples therapy is only for married couples and relationships on the verge of breakup. While couples counseling can offer support in both of these cases, I’m here to say that relationship therapy has so much more to give!

Relationship therapy is for all kinds of relationships!

Whether you’ve been together for 3 months or 3 decades, fight constantly or have infrequent but painful arguments, are in desperate need of stronger communication skills or feel good but just want to feel better, support from a couple’s therapist can help you identify challenges and build strategies for strengthening your relationship.

As long as both you and your partner (or partners!) are open to exploring deeper communication and connection, relationship therapy has something to offer.

Here are 3 Ways Relationship Therapy May Help You Grow as a Couple

Strengthen Communication:

Communication comes in many forms. We communicate through the words we speak and write, facial expressions, body language, and tone.

You’d think it would be simple to share our true feelings with so many options for expressing thought. Unfortunately, many of us have learned communication styles that don’t reflect the messages we are actually trying to send.

Think about this common interaction:

One partner finds themselves doing most of the dishes.

They aren’t trying to keep tabs but frustration is starting to build and they realize they need to say something.

They are feeling hurt that they are in this situation, hopeful that they can find a solution, and curious about why their partner isn’t doing their fair share. Their emotional experience is rich. And….

This is what comes out of their mouth- “Why am I always the one doing dishes?”

Woah… Where did that come from?

Instead of articulating all of the nuance of their experience they started speaking from a script they did not write. And because this prepackaged line popped out, they communicated a message that will likely be received as confrontational and shaming rather than communicating their true feelings about the situation.

Therapy helps individuals rewrite the script of their relationship to more accurately share thoughts, feelings, and experiences with their partners. A skilled therapist offers support by helping couples slow down moments of miscommunication, unpack them, and rehearse the new ‘script’.

Build a Team:

Having a strong relationship is a lot like being on a successful sports team. Effective teams need to have complementary goals, support each other in achieving those goals, experience loss together, and celebrate wins together.

Imagine trying to win a game when one teammate thinks you are playing soccer and another shows up ready for a basketball game! The lack of shared rules and basic strategies would cause all sorts of chaos and frustration.

While there’s no winning or losing in relationships, building a team that is playing the same game, identifying the strengths of each player, and working towards shared objectives has a much greater chance to experience consistent wins.

Therapy helps couples develop a relationship where individual and shared goals are discussed and each member feels supported and appreciated. By attending weekly ‘practice sessions’ couples have the chance to create a relationship that feels like a winning team.

‘Fight’ Productively:

Many people think that a ‘perfect’ relationship means one without any fighting. This is just not true. There is no such thing as perfect and disagreements can be productive and healthy when approached in a thoughtful and respectful way.

For disagreements to be productive, partners need to focus on their feelings about the situation, share them effectively, and be willing to work together to brainstorm solutions. Name calling, always and never statements, and score keeping are not productive ways to find workable solutions. 

Relationship therapy helps couples approach disagreements from a calm and thoughtful place. Week by week, couples develop strategies for managing frustration around disagreements.

How huge would it be if your next argument strengthened, rather than weakened, your relationship?

Reach out for Support

If diy couples advice isn’t cutting it anymore, I’m a relationship therapist who helps couples find their way again. I strive to create a therapeutic experience where each person in the relationship feels heard and validated and strong bridges back to love and connection can form.

Reach out for a free consultation. I would love the chance to meet with you!